A lot of the elders care a lot about what others think, especially their own people. My parents care, my grandparents care, and I care (I grew up caring what others think because that's what we were taught). My parents always told us to be careful of what we do and say because it will fall upon their shoulders and it will cause embarrassment to the family. That is something that I'm just so used to and I bring it to my every thoughts, people thinking about me even if their not my kind of people or people thinking of me that I don't even know or will ever meet again. I am just so afraid of what people think and the BF says why? The only thing I could say is because that is what I grew up knowing. He grew up with no father, his father passed away a long time ago, so he didn't have much of anyone telling him what to do and not do (from a man). His mother told him, but he just didn't care what others thought of him, he has confidence. That's where he didn't understand me.
Hmong people are very observant, they see you and want to know everything that you're doing, why you're doing it, and then they want to talk. Not only Hmong do this, but everyone. It's just that in our society, the elders care so very much about what others will say and think. Now that we've been in the US for several years, it has changed a bit, they don't care as much, but they still do care. Some things will never change and some things will change little by little over time. I hope that I can have enough confidence to not have to worry about what everyone thinks of me like the BF says I should!