Ha-mong

Today was a good day, until I was sitting in my flat with everyone in there laughing but me. I looked at myself and saw what they saw for the first time. I am Asian, a minority. For some reason I always thought I was just like them, I thought I fit in, but I don’t, and I stuck out like a sore thumb.

Being Hmong is difficult, we don’t have a country, we don’t have anything to claim. No one knows who we are and by Clint Eastwood’s immatureness people call us Ha-mong. I prayed to God to help me be whom I am, for me to not get lost in the easier way out of life. I prayed for Him to give me the strength to represent my people and who we are.

It makes me feel so alone, no one knows how our ways are, there’s no one I can talk to that would understand me. I guess that is what I miss the most! I miss my home, my bed, my family, my people, my things!

As awesome as this experience is, I don’t think I will ever do it alone again, I can’t stand being by myself, I want someone like me! I know I’m being selfish and immature, but seriously, people not knowing me and disrespecting me is just so painful and annoying. I can’t wait to be home!!!!!

Racism

Waking up you never are prepared for what happens in the day. Being here in New Zealand just about everyone thinks I'm Chinese. The Chinese think I'm Chinese, the Caucasians think I'm Chinese, everyone does.

I hate racism, it's a touchy topic, and it can go on forever, it hurts. It sticks with you forever.

Today I experienced racism towards me, whether they knew it or not, they acted upon it. I am a victim of another racist act, as I was before long ago. No matter how big or little the act was, it happened.

Did I cry? Of course I did, why did that Caucasian do it? Who is he to make fun of me and my friend, is he smarter, superior? Why am I crying because I am different? What do I do now? Did I report it? Yes I did, what will happen? I have no clue, all I know is that this is the beginning of a new chapter, I am NOT going to keep quiet. I want to be LOUD AND LET THEM KNOW THAT IT IS NOT OK!!!!!

History will not repeat itself, all the racism that once was should be gone, will it ever? Of course not, but one step at a time and we will be there. Martin Luther King Jr. would be sad if he saw us today, but proud that we have gotten this far. I want to make a change, that is why I reported this racist act, I want to be heard. I am stronger than this and I am not alone. They will have to listen to what I have to say, I am not going anywhere.

I HATE RACISM!!!!!!!!!!!

Finding Asian Food In New Zealand

Now that I'm here in New Zealand, it's very difficult for me to find the spices and foods that I'm used to eating. I'll have to go look for the sections of the oriental foods or asian foods. Even if they have the spices, do they have the greens that I like to eat?

I'm not used to eating just all burgers, fries, spaghetti all the time. Even when I make rice to eat, it's not the same rice type and the way I cook it here is different because I don't have all the tools to cook it the way I like it. I know, a lot of complaining, but truly it's different.

I'll have to get used to it, but for now it's not the best. Can't wait to eat real Hmong food when I get home (which won't be for a while).

Although my kiwi host said she would show me where the asian market is, so that'll be exciting, hopefully they have the greens I like there!! :D