I have always thought and fantasized about leaving everything behind and going somewhere no one would know me. Now that it has happened, I don't want this. Not only does no one know me, they don't even know what I am. They all think I'm Chinese, and even if I were to speak, they think I'm American. I am American, but I would like to think of myself as Hmong American, not American. American is my nationality and Hmong is my race, but it's just so difficult to explain and I guess for other's to understand. Like my friend who's from Singapore and is Chinese, she's Singaporean. Her nationality is Singaporean, her race is Chinese and she wants everyone that meets her to know that she's from Singapore, not China.
I understand her way of thinking, why doesn't anyone understand mine? I guess it's just way too confusing and complicated.
Getting away from the people I wanted to so badly wasn't as I assumed it would be. It wasn't that great feeling I thought I would've had, being anyone I wanted. Instead I'm just labeled here and even after explanations they still don't know what's going on.
I miss home, not necessarily my surroundings, but my people and my family.
My condolences. We all need validation of who we are... the person we know we are. More people need to understand and be sensitive to the identities of others, whether it be based upon race, nationality, religion, sexuality, or any number of other options.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, you will make it through this.
Thank you! I have confidence, but at times it's just very difficult! Everything is just so different, at times I feel like I can't stand it and than others I feel like I can stay here forever. It's just the mood I'm in and how others make me feel! I will definitely stay strong!!
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